My Roommate got Office Spaced
Posted by Steve | Filed under Uncategorized
She’s always been somewhat difficult to get along with. She’s had four previous jobs since I’ve known her and she’s left every one of them because there was somebody she just couldn’t get along with. Some jobs she quit, some she was let go from but always because of a conflict with someone. It’s never a performance issue because she’s a very hard worker.
She’s like that fairy tale where the princess can feel a pea under 15 mattresses stacked on top of each other. She just has no tolerance for any sort of discomfort whatsoever. As for me if I don’t like somebody I work with I just avoid them or keep my interaction with them efficient and as minimal as possible. She can’t do that. If she doesn’t like someone she has to tell somebody about it…and usually I’m the one she tells.
Now at her current job she’s been moved downstairs away from the other administrative dept people. She’s now sharing an office one other lady nobody can stand to be around, which is probably why she got moved down there to begin with. She’s now threatening to quit if they don’t move her somewhere else. That’s probably what they want. I call it being Office Spaced because in the movie Office Space that one fat guy kept getting his office moved until he was finally in a closet or something.
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Jokes
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”
Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it & do the same.
Bitter Much?
Posted by Steve | Filed under Amore & Vita
So I’m sitting at my desk on the computer since…well, that’s what I do. I’m a Sys Admin. About every six months or so I get into “I wonder what happened to…” mode. I try to find somebody I went to school/played sports/hung out/was involved/worked with. Apparently my friends are all part of some conspiracy against technology. In all this time I have managed to find exactly ONE person I went to high school with…also named Steve. He’s an on-air radio personality in Atlanta.
Anyway, a few months ago I looked up a girl I knew from an AOL chatroom about 12 years ago. She’s on Myspace like everyone else on the planet except people I went to school with. She was from Northern California but going to school in Nevada at the time. We chatted online and talked on the phone once in a while. She ended up moving to Atlanta for a summer job and I guess she thought there was more to our friendship than there was. While she was here we went out onnce and spent the night together. We talked online after that but I never called her or pursued a relationship with her. One of the few “hit it and quit it” encounters I’ve had. It’s not my nature and I felt bad about it but there just wasn’t much we had in common really. This did not sit well with her apparently.
I sent her a message that was part ‘how are you’ and part apology…not that I truly needed to. I had never said anything to her that would’ve indicated I was interested in us becoming a “we”. She responded, said it bothered her for a good while and was glad I apologized. That was the end of that. I didn’t follow up with her. Then last month I sent a happy holidays type message via Myspace again. She never responded to that. Apparently despite my apology she’s still angry. For chrissakes how long are you gonna let something that happened 12 years ago bother you? Get the fuck over it. I know she’s had much worse happen to her than that. I would never let something eat at me that long. Somebody needs a therapist.
Most all relationships/encouters end on a bad note. Are you gonna beat yourself up over all of them? Dang! I’m just sayin…
Addition to the Kill List below…
Posted by Steve | Filed under Social Issues
Reverend Al Sharpton. He should be killed. Now he’s got his panties all up in a wad because a white female commentator jokingly used the word ‘lynch’ in reference to Tiger Woods. Tiger has known this woman for over ten years and apparently he wasn’t bothered in the least. However Rev. Al once again took it upon himself to be offended for all of Black America. He insists they fire the woman…for one single word. A word that wasn’t even used with any ill intent. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Why are you sooo offended when Tiger himself wasn’t?
Half the reason we still have racism in this country is because of Civil Rights dinosaurs like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson
cry wolf so often that the rest of America tunes out whenever those two show their faces on tv. Why the fuck does Al still have a job after that whole Tawanna Brawley thing? Why does Jesse Jackson still have a job after referring to New York as “Himey Town” back in 1984? You cannot be serious?
We need to get off this “White man keepin us down” victim shit. The Emancipation Proclamation was signed in 1863. If your black ass is still on the plantation it’s your own damn fault. I got news for you, General Custer…the cavalry is not coming to save you. You need to pull yourself up and take your future into your own hands.
People I’ve never met but would like to kill anyway
Posted by Steve | Filed under Work
1. The public restroom toilet paper roll designer guy – Through what reasoning did you determine that 1.8 squares was enough paper to wipe your ass? You sorry tree-hugging Al Gore wannabe bastard. I feel like global warming your balls with a flamethrower. I hope every toilet you use for the rest of your rotten life works that way.
2. 1and1.com – our website host. Every other fucking day you send me an email stating the following:
It has come to our attention that the name server settings for mycompany.com are incorrectly set to:
DNS1: ns0.dnsmadeeasy.com
DNS2: ns1.dnsmadeeasy.com
DNS3: ns2.dnsmadeeasy.com
DNS4: ns3.dnsmadeeasy.com
With these settings neither your website nor your e-mails can be reached reliably via the mycompany.com domain.
For the domain to work properly please make sure that following name servers are set:
DNS1: ns0.dnsmadeeasy.com
DNS2: ns1.dnsmadeeasy.com
Soooooo, what you’re telling me is I need to change my DNS settings to WHAT THEY FUCKING ALREADY ARE!!!!! Nevermind that our website works fine and has for 8 months despite your apparent cluelessness. And why is it every time I respond to say these emails aren’t necessary your tech support dipshits give me a different for why I need to make the non-existent changes anyway? I hope your office toilets give out 0.9 squares per pull. Please die.
Back In Business
Posted by Steve | Filed under Work
Well, telecommuting is over for now. We managed to get set up in temporary office space three floors down last week. We’ll be down here for 2-3 months while they are repairing the damage to our floor. It only took three days to move the phone/computer systems and furniture, although we didn’t move every single thing. We had custom-made desks in our old digs that won’t fit in the new office.
I finally have separate A/C controls for my office, not that they actually work. If the A/C is on it’s 70 degrees. If it’s office it’s about 80 degrees. The actual temperature adjust doesn’t seem to do anything. It beats upstairs where the person in the office next to me controlled my office too. She was always cold and would crank it up to 75, which was fine for her but my office had all the servers so there was more heat in there. I would break out in a sweat if I stood up too fast. On the plus side, if there can be one at such a time, the move was completed just before my annual bonus was decided and yes, Virginia….there is a Santa Claus.
I have managed to make it through another Christmas without actually setting foot in a store to shop. God bless online stores. I’ve forgotten what its like to fight over mall parking spots at holiday time.
I still have four days of vacation to use up before year end. I can only carry one week over to 2008 and they won’t pay me cash for it.
Fire In The Hole!
Posted by Steve | Filed under Work
Well, this has been an interesting week to say the least. There was a fire on our floor (6th) of the building my company is located in. Apparently a computer at Mary Kay Cosmetics caught fire and it demolished their entire suite. Something sounds fishy about a computer getting that hot but thats their story and I guess they’re gonna stick to it. We were not there at the time, however there was no real damage to our offices other than smoke and soot. The firemen destroyed our front door to get in and thats when most of the damage occurred.
Regardless, we have not been able to work in the office at all. At first I thought this would be a nice couple days off while the building management cleaned up. The first day I was able to stay in PJs and just get everything done by phone. Instead I’ve spent the whole week driving to homes and making sure everyone can access crucial applications from home. As luck would have it we recently outsourced our email, website and CRM database to external providers. The only thing they’re really missing is print functionality and the phone system, but even that could be worked around. We have VOIP and it’s possible to give everyone VPN access; then they could make/receive calls at home using the company phone system. I’m not sure I want to go down that road…actually I’m positive that I don’t. It’s been a real PITA already because some of the people apparently have computers purchased during the Reagan administration. I’ve worked harder this week than I do when I’m actually in the office.
At first the building management said we’d likely be back to work on Monday, if not Friday. Well, I found out this evening we won’t be able to go back for TWO MONTHS!!! We may end up moving since being being out of our office for 30 days gives us legal cause to break our lease. My boss hates the management anyway so thats been debated for a while now. This could be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
On the plus side we have been able to do business extremely well considering the circumstances. We have hardly lost a step so far. Our disaster recovery plan has worked better than we could have imagined. As the Network Admin I’m feeling like I really earned my keep this week. It’s almost unheard of for a company of ten people to have a full-time Admin but they have had one for over ten years and right now they are glad they do. I still need to get a portable drive as a secondary off-site data backup. I may take everyone’s computer to their home along with a CD/DVD containing the shared files.
Very important to shine right now since my annual bonus will probably be decided within the next ten days. Keep your fingers crossed.
