THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Jokes
yeah, I know I said no more jokes…..blog this, biatch.
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you’ll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
You gotta love the Marines!
Good week of training
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Triathlon
Monday
1 hour road ride – hill intervals
Tuesday
30 minutes stationary
20 minutes treadmill
Wednesday – gym (easy day to limit soreness)
Leg extensions 4×10 (all warmups)
squat 5×4
leg press 4×10
hack squat 3×10
leg curls 4×10
Thursday
45 minute road ride
Friday
off
Saturday
off (translation = too lazy to get off my arse)
Sunday
40 mile ride @ 155 avg heart rate, 175 max
saw Mariano Friedick on the route
Californians
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Jokes
I’m trying to post fewer jokes now (luv ya, Belle) but this one I just couldn’t resist.
Californians, So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly,and Texan jokes, you know you’re from California if:
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can’t remember . is pot illegal?
6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can’t remember . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can’t remember . .is pot illegal?
14. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on ! every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
16. It’s barely sprinkling rain ! outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.
Go me!
Posted by Steve | Filed under General
Today is my 2 year anniversary working here. I forgot all about it until they asked what kinda cake I wanted. This always happens when I’m trying to diet. Hopefully I won’t eat the whole thing.
Never Say Die(t)
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Triathlon
After a month of no weight loss (I actually went up 2 lbs) I’m going to try a real diet. I have not paid close attention to diet for more than 4-5 straight weeks in a long time and I’m too old for that.
I’ve determined that most days I’m only getting 100-150 grams of protein which never really bothered me because I’m not concerned with building muscle anymore. However since I am getting 2,500+ cals daily that must mean my fat and/or carb intake is way higher than it needs to be. I’m going to trying sticking to a 40/30/30 protein/carbs/fat ratio(I do 80% aerobic training now) for the next 6 weeks and see what happens. If the changes are good I will stick with it longer. Maybe I’ll hit 225 by the Tour de France start. 
I also put in an hour of hill intervals on the bike yesterday. I used some big gears too so I should go a little lighter today. Tonight I think I will do the stationary bike for 30 minutes at 70-75% max HR then 30 minutes on the treadmill and finish up with ab work.
Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Jokes
October 2002
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
GRRRR!
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Technology
Every week I get spam from Panda Software about their latest and great antivirus protection. Finally I got tired of just deleting them so I click the link at the bottom to unsubscribe. Guess what? They send you to a page entirely in spanish! I can’t read that stuff.
I just changed the .es to .com and followed the instructions there….f*cking ass hats. With my luck there’s a separate database for the spanish spam victims.
