Steve on April 15th, 2006

So, you gave it up to the last guy on the first date and a week later, you’re shocked at the realization that he has no intention of calling back. What did you do wrong, you ask? You gave him exactly what you thought he wanted. Well, let me tell your dumb ass. The trick [...]

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Steve on April 14th, 2006

Enclosed is my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029), bringing my total [...]

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Steve on April 12th, 2006

Wednesday is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday
Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don’t care about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so [...]

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Steve on April 11th, 2006

Apparently no DNA evidence was found in the case involving the Duke lacrosse team and the black stripper. While this can be seen as good news in the sense that it appears no crime was committed against her, it’s bad news in that she claimed there was. This is just what this country did not [...]

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It’s official….I have seen it all.
LASIK@Home

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Steve on April 6th, 2006

1) NOT KISSING FIRST
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the Ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR
Admit it, some kid at school told [...]

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Steve on April 5th, 2006

Day three and i’ve only watched about 15 minutes of tv so far. Been on the bike at 5:30 every morning except today; it was raining pretty hard so I will do an hour when I get home. Yesterday I even ran on the treadmill after work. Protein pancakes or egg white omelet for breakfast; [...]

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