This brings a whole new meaning to the term sloppy seconds
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Jokes
Sports goods shop shut down for renting sex dolls
Ras Al Khaimah: A shop selling sports goods was found plying equipment with a twist in recreational possibilities.
A raid by officials from Ras Al Khaimah Economic Department found that the shop was renting sex dolls to its clients, mainly teenagers.
Sources from the department said the shop was immediately shut down. Further investigations are on.
Department inspectors seized a doll from the shop.
The shop owner, during questioning, confessed to the officials that it was “good business”.
He said the dolls were rented for a day to clients, selected solely on the basis of recommendation from previous customers.
He said his teenage clients were willing to pay a sizeable amount for the “facility”.
The sources said the shop also violated its commercial licence.
Officials from the department also raided several shops in the area and seized illegal impotency drugs and creams. All the shops were issued spot fines ranging from Dh500 to Dh1,000.
Well, I don’t think I’ll be riding the Tour de France this year.
Posted by Steve | Filed under General, Triathlon
I wanted to go out and ride with a group this weekend for a couple of reasons – 1) to meet some people from the club I want to join and 2) to get a feel for my fitness level against other guys. Riding by yourself all the time gives you a false sense of security about how you’re going. I knew I didn’t have great condition but I thought I was doing okay. Well I got a big dose of both, and not all good.
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Hello world!
Posted by Steve | Filed under Technology, Uncategorized
Welcome to my new digs! Strap yourselves in. Make sure your seats and tray tables are in their fully upright and locked positions. You might be in for a bumpy ride until I get everything migrated over from the old site.
Once we land there will be plenty of beer in the frig and buffalo wings (even baked ones for you dieters) on the table in front of my imaginary 52″ Plasma television. In case you’re wondering WTF dubbayoo means, well there’s no rocket science or interesting story behind it. My last initial is W….as in dubbayoo. Get it? Oh neverfuckingmind!
Times When Saying Fuck is Appropriate
Posted by swingate | Filed under General, Jokes
- “What the fuck was that?” – Mayor of Hiroshima
- “Where did all these fucking Indians come from?” – Custer
- “Any fucking idiot could understand that!” – Einstein
- “It does SO fucking look like her!” – Picasso
- “How the fuck did you work that out?” – Pythagoras
- “You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?” – Michelangelo
- “I don’t suppose it’s gonna fucking rain?” – Joan of Arc
- “I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head!” – J.F.K.
- “Who the fuck is going to know?” – Bill Clinton
Flat Broke!
Posted by swingate | Filed under General, Sports, Triathlon
I was all psyched to put in some big mileage in my new shoes and pedals this weekend and what happens? I flat 25 miles into a planned 40 mile ride. I couldn’t find the leak so I used my CO2 cartridge to top off the tire, hoping that would get me home or close to it. I got another 5 miles til it was dangerously low again. I walked about a mile then decided to hail a cab. I was looking at another 2 hours of walking if I hadn’t. Cycling shoes are not meant to be walked very far in. I got blisters on my feet because I took my shoes off. Thankfully they don’t hurt as bad as I thought they would now.
On another note I have registered for the Solvang Half Century ride…50 miles of dropdead gorgeous scenery. Solvang is an old Dutch town with horse drawn carriages and all. I had to get a hotel room in Lompoc 20 miles away because the ride hotel was fully booked. I hear the day of the ride they get fully booked for the next year’s ride. It seems if you stay at the hotel for the ride one year, on checkout you fill out a form to reserve a room for the following year. With 5,000 people staying in a town with only 2-3 hotels I bet Super Bowl tickets are easier to come by than a room in this burg. This ride is pretty well known nationwide. I was familiar with it when I was still living in Atlanta. It’s a really pretty area where a lot of pro teams train so I’m looking forward to taking some pictures.
edit – setting my yearly mileage goal at 4,000 miles.
Birth Test
Posted by swingate | Filed under General, Jokes, Phun
I’m a 2 and it’s definitely accurate for me. 
Put your “number” in the “Subject” and pass it on. Have fun.
Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing.
To figure out your birth number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like the example below, until there is only one digit.
A birth number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight.
Example: March 20, 1950
3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973
1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20
2 + 0 = 2
Keep going until you end up with a single digit number.
2 is the birth number to read for the birth date in the
example. Find your number and then read on.
1 – The Originator
2 – The Peacemaker
3 – The Life Of The Party
4 – The Conservative
5 – The Nonconformist
6 – The Romantic
7 – The Intellectual
8 – The Big Shot
9 – The Performer
1 – The Originator .. 1’s are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1’s are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them.
Lesson to learn:
Others’ ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.
Famous 1’s are Don Kotula, ! Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynonna Judd, Nancy Reagan, and Raquel Welch.
2 – The Peacemaker … 2’s are the born diplomats. They are aware of others’ needs and moods and often think of others before themselves.Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don’t like to be alone. Friendship and companionship are very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand, they’d rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy, they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.
Famous 2’s are President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
3 – The Life Of The Party … 3’s are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don’t always see them th! rough. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.
Famous 3’s are Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, and Jodi Foster.
4 – The Conservative … 4’s are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and! feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.
Famous 4’s are Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, and Oprah Winfrey.
5 – The Nonconformist … 5’s are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don’t like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the acts before jumping to conclusions.
Famous 5’s are Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gough, Bette Midler, Helen Keller, and Mark Hail.
6 – The Romantic … 6’s are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take friendship seriously. 6’s should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.
! Famous 6’s are Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, and Goldie Hawn.
7 – The Intellectual … 7’s are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don’t sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don’t like to be questioned themselves. They’re never off to a fast start, and their motto is, “Slow and Steady Wins the Race”. They come across as philosophical and being very knowledgeable, and sometime as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They love to uncover secrets. They live in their own quiet world and could do a better job of learning what is acceptable in the world at large.
Famous 7’s are William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, and Princess Diana.
8 – The Big Shot … 8’s are the ! Problem Solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their
decisions on their own needs rather than what others want.
Famous 8’s are Edgar Cayce, Barbara Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklyn, and Nostradamus.
9 – The Performer … 9’s are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer f! rom extreme
in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation.
Famous 9’s are Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, and Elvis Presley.
Is cheating always cheating?
Posted by swingate | Filed under Amore & Vita, General, Lust
I’m driving in to work today and on the radio they’re talking about married women who cheat on their husbands with other women. The talk was about how women justified it and how would the husband feel if he found out. Some of the callers husbands knew and apparently were fine as long as they were aware of it. They just didn’t want the wife sneaking around. I wonder how wives would feel if their husband cheated on them with another man (ewww). There is certainly less stigma attached to seeing women being affectionate toward each other as opposed to seeing two swapping spit.
Personally I think I’d be much less pissed off if my spouse cheated with another woman, not that I’d be happy about it in any case. I view the situation with this analogy. Say I own a hamburger joint. I only sell beef hamburgers…no other type of sandwich. Someone comes up and asks for a chicken sandwich. I tell them I don’t have chicken; I just sell hamburgers. They want chicken so they leave in search of a place that sells chicken. Am I offended? No. That just means they wanted something else. It doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t know how to cook or that my hamburgers aren’t the best around. I think people just want something different sometimes. You could say the same about interracial sex. I don’t necessarily view one race as being better lovers than the other, but it’s fun to have a choice. Variety is the spice of life…although Paprika often gets a bad rap. 
Thoughts? Opinions?
