Bleh!
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Sports
I’m home sick from work. I slept with the window open because I like to be cold when I sleep. I guess the ocean air was a bit too damp so now I have a runny nose and a throat full of phlegm. I’m watching tv and flipping back and forth between Maury and the NFL Combine while my laundry is doing it’s thing.
On the Maury show today’s victim is a young wigger (white guy who thinks he’s black) with his black girlfriend. On the other side of the stage are three white girls who all claim he’s the father of their children. This is Maury so obviously everybody is screaming at each other. Cut to the chase and it turns out the guy IS the father of two of them. Sista, the guy’s current booty call, is jumpin up and down high-fivin because he’s not the father of the 3rd. Like that matters? He still knocked up two of the three and he’ll be doing the same to your stupid ass within a month or so. I’m starting to believe women really do respect the guy that treats them like shit more than the nice guy who puts them first and lets them run all over him.
On a positive note, the Tour of California came thru my neck of the woods yesterday. I took some pics so dig in.
Amgen Tour of California final stage pics
Signs He Wants to Get Laid
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
- Watching a nature show where animals fornicate, he keeps winking and doing the eyebrow thing.
- When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly replies, “The skin bus to tuna town,” and then laughs until he cries.
- You note that integrity is so important in a man, he notes that what he looks for in a “chick” is “you know.”
- He whispers,”you’re beautiful,” to your thighs, then glances up at your face and says, “oh you, too.”
- When you comment on the rarity of men these days who seek mature relationships, he giggles quite a bit.
- In conversation with others, he refers to you as his “quality tail.”
- Washing dishes after you’ve cooked him dinner for the first time, you reach behind you to take the paper towels off the paper-towel rod and then realize that you don’t own a paper-towel rod.
- When you’re insulted by his “motel” suggestion at the end of your first date, he looks impressed and says, “hotel.”
- When you proudly recount your glorious high school valedictory speech to him, he praises “your multi-talented mouth.”
- When you tell him what you do for a living, he stares at your breasts and loudly asks, “What do they do?”
Jekyl & Hyde
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Amore & Vita, General
I propose a new law stating that women not be allowed to have any contact with the male species while they’re having their period. They are to be restricted to their primary residence at all times unless said location is only occupied by other women. While GNP may possibly decline slightly that’s the price we’ll have to pay for whirled peas. That is all.
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Sports
Yes…it’s that time already, folks. Time for the annual “get my pimp on” picture thread. The day when the finest babes and best built dudes in professional bodybuilding and fitness get rewarded for all their hard work with the chance to have their pic taken with yours truly. The occasion? The FitExpo in Pasadena, CA. It’s a physical fitness convention in conjunction with a professional bodybuilding contest, figure model contest, a powerlifting meet, a “Strongman” contest and a few other things. Supplement companies distribute free stuff and let you sample their products. I got 3 t-shirts, a bunch of protein, some fat burner crap I’ll never use and a beanie cap.
Going to these shows always helps me recharge my batteries. Every once in a while it’s nice to be around real bodybuilders, not just “people who workout” like the ones in my gym. I should have good motivation to get in all my workouts…for the next week at least. 
Without further adieu, let’s get this party started.
Strip Club
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh, no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.” When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,”How did she know that you drink Budweiser?” “She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.” A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”
Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”
Reasons a Vibrator is Better Than a Man
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
- A vibrator’s only function is to please you.
- They don’t watch televised sports when you want to talk.
- They don’t talk when you want to watch a movie on TV.
- You’ll never have to put your vibrator in your mouth.
- Vibrators never pick their nose in bed.
- Vibrators move.
- Vibrators find all the right spots.
- Vibrators don’t do household chores— but you don’t care.
- A vibrator never leaves you or flirts with your friends.
- Vibrators never make a mess.
- You never worry about where your vibrator has been before.
- A vibrator will never call out someone else’s name when it is with you.
- A vibrator will never ask you to bring it a beer.
- Even if your vibrator is working overtime, you know exactly where it is.
- A vibrator is easy to turn on and off.
- You can spend hours in a bar with your vibrator, and it will still be able to perform when you get it home.
- A vibrator doesn’t care how long it takes to satisfy you.
- Your mother will never ask what your vibrator does for a living.
- A vibrator won’t get pissed of when dinner isn’t cooked.
- Vibrators can’t get you pregnant, give you a disease, or make you watch auto racing.
- Vibrators take up very little room on the bed.
- Vibrators never bother you when you want to sleep.
- Vibrators never compare size with other vibrators.
- You’ll never have to share your vibrator with another woman.
- Your vibrator doesn’t mind if you forget to shave.
- Vibrators never fart in bed.
- A vibrator won’t turn off before you finish.
- It is ok to have more than one vibrator in bed with you at a time.
- If you have a headache or your period, you won’t find a vibrator turned on when you get into bed.
- Vibrators are ALWAYS hard.
Dr. Phil’s test
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes, Phun
It’s only 10 Simple questions, so…grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question. I got a 38 and, although I’d like think otherwise, it seems pretty accurate for me.
