Chris Rock show skit 10 years ago
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
Dude has mad prediction skillz…I’m just sayin…
Youtube video
These Glutes Are Made For Walking!
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes, Uncategorized
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr9TOdQsyOA
I wonder if my gym offers this class…one reason to go more often. 
Garfield r0x0rs
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Jokes, Phun
20 Rules of Drunk Dialing
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Jokes
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.
2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.
3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. “Mom I’m in McDonald’s and they’re playing our song. I love you”
4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn’t want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something.
5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
6. Drunk texting is alright… If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.
7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they’ve ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.
8. You can also call this same ex and let him know, that you know, that he/she still loves you. Then explain to him/her that I would still love me too!
9. If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
10. It is always a good idea to sing on someone’s answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
11. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed… Never angry.
12. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that “you have a problem”.
13. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.
14. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.
15. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend’s phone to do your dialing.
16. Drunk dialing to foreign country is usually too costly to be a good idea. But if you feel like if you don’t call this person you’ll just die, brake rule 15 and use a friend’s phone.
17. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing…. Be prepared.
18. When dialing remember that “hanging out” at 3 in the A.M. usually doesn’t involve cards it’s probably going to be more like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really do want to play X-box when your drunk….. “you want me to do what with your box? Play with it?”
19. Don’t drunk dial in the pool, tub, or rainstorm. It only ends up with you blow drying your phone when your far to drunk to be using electronics and you wont be able to drunk dial anymore that night.
20. Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher, grandpa, or friend’s parents. If you are that hard up to call someone, there is an 800 number on Budweiser boxes. The person on the other line always sounds cute, plus I think they are used to drunk dialers
BEWARE!
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
Chinese Proverbage
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
- Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
- Man who run in front of car get tired.
- Man who run behind car get exhausted.
- Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
- Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
- Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
- Man with one chopstick go hungry.
- Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
- Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
- Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
- Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
- War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
- Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
- Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
- It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
- Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
- Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
- Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
- Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
- Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
- Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Monthly Funnies
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to it’s yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that,
when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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