25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”
Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it & do the same.
Wel…not much more I can add to this one
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Jokes
I do love a glazed donut but not this much…
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes, Newsworthy
A few days ago there was a story making the rounds on the news wires about Krispy Kreme introducing a new donut that would be made of whole wheat and low on calories. NBC affiliate WAGT in Augusta picked up on this hard-hitting story, however it looks like they don’t exactly have an eagle-eyed production staff in the newsroom when you look at the on-screen graphic they used in their report. Watch the YouTube video below or click the image above for an enlarged still. This is what happens when you hire idiots that get their on-air graphics from a Google Search without even looking at the results.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UyTOeee8hQ
Uselesss factoids
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Jokes, Uncategorized
- If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.) - If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
( Now that’s more like it!) - The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!) - A pig ‘s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.) - A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I’m still not over the pig.) - Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don’t try this at home, maybe at work) - The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(Honey, I’m home. What the…?!) - The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?) - The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) - Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity) - Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.) - The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm……) - Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) - Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing) - A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) - An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that). - Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.) - Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer, but they won’t be as cool) - Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
ROFLMAO
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes, Phun
My Elfamorphosis
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
I just made a total elf of myself. Check me out by clicking the link below.
http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=2ab0b4832ebc01193e9e5e9G06122208
Dilbert
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under General, Jokes
