Good Karma
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Amore & Vita, General
This is a nice reading, but short. Enjoy! This is what The Dalai Lama has to say for 2006. All it takes is a few seconds to read and think over. Do not keep this message. The mantra must leave your hands within 96 hours. You will get a very pleasant surprise. This is true for all – even if you are not superstitious… or of whatever religious belief… Faith…
INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s:
- Respect for self,
- Respect for others and
- Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a
wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate
steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for
your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the
current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your
love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Phone conversation last night
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Amore & Vita, General
Belle: Call me at 9:30AM and wake me up. I have to run errands before work.
Me: You won’t get up
Belle: Yes, I will
Me: No, you won’t.
Belle: I HAVE to…call me, please?
Me: Oh alright…glutton for punishment that I am.
I get my arse out of bed at 1:30 AM to send myself an email reminding me to call her at 9:30AM.
Fast forward to next day. I arrive at work, read the email and set an Outlook appointment to call her at 9:30.
9:30AM – I call…no answer (imagine that) so I leave a message.
9:35 – I call again…see above entry
9:45 – I call again, no answer, I hang up.
10:00 – see previous entry
10:20′ish – I send her a text…GET UP!
11:06AM – Text from Belle – “Yeah so I suck at getting up”.
Night of the living dead
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Amore & Vita, General, Uncategorized
I was sick yesterday. I was queasy and it felt like I was on the verge of puking the entire time. Once I actually went to the bathroom to do it but it was a false alarm. The feeling lessened a little bit in the evening, at least enough to sleep…or so I thought.
I could not get to sleep for the life of me last night. I don’t normally have trouble getting shuteye. I got up and walked around the apartment in my birthday suit a few times, sat with the cat that spends half the night staring at the crack under the door waiting for a shadow to go by. I got on Elite for a few minutes, which was apparently Insomniacs Anonymous Central, then back to bed…nothing.
I ended up lying in bed listening to The Best of Ambient Lounge on my Ipod…an excellent choice. Listening to music this way was a different experience for me. Normally I use music either as Muzak-esque background filler or to put me in a certain mood to do something. I use rap or metal to get ready for the gym; Pop or R&B when I’m driving and more mellow stuff at night. In any case its really the beat that I key into. Last night I actually got into the lyrics more, at least to the extent that I could as it was a European album so some of the lyrics were not English. It felt as if I was just listening to an audio book or something. Interesting how different the experience was.
In any case that didn’t put me to sleep but it did allow me to achieve a vegetative state sufficient to get some semblance of rest. I began to wonder whats become of those weird goth/gay/punk friends I had from my countless nights at Club Rio and Backstreet in Atlanta.
I finally did get to sleep around 5 AM which gave me an hour of peace before the dog jumped on the bed for his morning pet ritual at 6 AM, followed by the alarm at 6:15.
Nookie By Numbers
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Amore & Vita, General, Lust
So, you gave it up to the last guy on the first date and a week later, you’re shocked at the realization that he has no intention of calling back. What did you do wrong, you ask? You gave him exactly what you thought he wanted. Well, let me tell your dumb ass. The trick to winning a man over is to always save something for next time. Give him an incentive to keep coming back for more and more. The amount of time he has to spend with you prior to being given the key to your castle assures one of two things.
- If he hangs around long enough to score you can rest assured he has an interest in the real you…otherwise he would simply move on to easier targets.
- You will now know enough about him to decide if he’s worthy of becoming the keymaster.
Women control the world. I am amazed that many of you are too clueless (translation – desperate to be loved) to figure that out. You control half the money and all of the pussy, and if you have all the pussy it’s only a matter of time before you have all the money.
Okay, you asked for it…you got it. W’s “Nookie By Numbers” guide to dating success. You want to keep that man interested and coming back for more? Want to prevent him from thinking you’re a prude yet not give the store away too soon? Here’s how ya do it.
I should note that this timeline is assuming you’re seeing him once a week. If you see him 3 times a week and give it up at the end of week 2 you can still color him gone. He may come back for another spin around the block but he’s probably not viewing you as girlfriend material. Also note that this timeline is inappropriate for “internet relationships”. If you’ve been talking on the computer/phone for weeks or months before meeting that’s an entirely different animal. Personally I believe it is okay under those circumstances to go all the way on the first in-person date, once you feel assured he’s not a homocidal axe-wielding maniac.
Date #1 – The Courtesy Kiss
A friendly hug and quick peck on the mouth. You must not allow his lips to remain in contact with yours for more than one second, although an encore 2nd kiss is permissable as long as it is also does not exceed one full second in duration.
Date #2 – The Dental Office Visit
The second week brings more kissing. Tonight you explore each other’s mouths with your tongue. The kiss is combined with a groping hug as long as long as no hands attempt to reach under anyone’s clothing. No limit on the length of the kiss but remember, you do have to work on Monday. Feel free to comment on the quality of any dental work you notice during the inspection.
Date #3 – Thanks for the mammaries
More kissing and groping with the additional bonus that you introduce him to “the twins”. That’s right. Let him remove your bra and suckle to his heart’s content. Any attempt to undo the belt buckle is strictly VERBOTEN!
Date # 4 – Oral Majority
Now we’re getting down to brass tacks. This stage brings manual stimulation of the genitalia. It’s okay to polish his knob for a minute or so (unless you think that’s all he’ll last), but you don’t want to swallow just yet…not at this juncture….wouldn’t be prudent.
Date # 5 – I’M BUCK NEKKID!!!!!
This should be the first time he gets to see you fully undressed. Kissing, oral sex, masturbation…it’s all good here. NO PENETRATION. Say it with me now…NO PENETRATION! You want to go down on him while still keeping him motivated to give you yours. The reason you want to do him first is if he’s already orgasmed once he’ll be less inclined to try talking you into letting him put it in “just for a few seconds, baby”. The tricky part here is that he may also be less driven to return the favor. This is a blessing in disguise because if he doesn’t return the favor now he damn sure won’t do it 2-3 months from now when he’s all comfortable with belching and farting in your presence. Simulated intercourse is a fun one here, just grinding against each other especially is he’s a thong wearing Metrosexual. After all, if he’s naked he might try to “angle it in by mistake”. I tried that one a few months ago myself. It’s hard to do and look cool while you’re doing it so if he makes it work you know he’s got skillz.
Date # 6 – IT’S ON!
Open the castle and invite him in for a quick tour. Don’t get freaky here. No toys, no cameras, no third parties involved and NO ANAL SEX. No need to clean your ears out. You heard me. No anal sex. Yes, I’m aware this is coming from someone that is addicted to all things booty. Still…don’t do it.
Date # 7 – More of the same
Date # 8 – Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em
Now you can let him see your wild side and give him some backdoor lovin. At this point you know whether or not he’s a keeper and he knows if you are. You’re both adults…do whatcha like.
And there you have it. W’s “Nookie By Numbers” manual for not just gettin a man, but keepin a man. I would love to see a survey quantifying the odds of a long term relationship when two people have sex on the first or second dates versus later. My guess is you’ll see a linear path with the odds going up the longer it takes. Any questions? 
- This post is meant to be a joke. I came up with this in less than 30 minutes so there’s a few situations unaccounted for. It doesn’t really apply to people you’ve known for a while whether it’s in-person or over the Internet. It’s assuming this is a totally new relationship and you’ve met this person within the last month at most. I seriously do believe there is some validity to this.
Calendar dates
Posted by Belle | Filed under Amore & Vita, General
With the beginning of April comes the beginning of baseball season. That means that the Atlanta Braves head to L.A. to kick some Dodger ass. It’s the only time they’ll be in L.A all season. What’s funny is that the Braves weren’t the only thing that were supposed to be flying in to L.A. later this weekend. I was supposed to be on a flight heading that direction, too, albeit probably not the same one. My boss had apparently forgotten that my trip was cancelled and double-checked the dates with me, to which I got to reply that no, I’d be here each and every one of those days after all. I had planned on going out there for a whole week…three times as long as the Atlanta trip. D_T and I had big plans for next week. We were going to go see the Braves kick some ass, stroll along various boulevards seeing the sights, he was going to cook for me (even though he didn’t know it yet), and then then there would have been plenty of times when we never even made it outside the apartment. Then his boss decided to screw all those plans up. Now the Braves flying into town doesn’t mean anything else except the beginning of baseball season.
I know that I keep using my Web site power to write depressing blogs, lol. I had realized earlier this week that next week was supposed to be THE week. And I guess it’s just one of those days when I get philosophical, which with me has been happening a lot more as of late. Damnest thing. I just hadn’t realized the correlation between the Braves and me until today when I was looking at their schedule. Now there’s no trip in the works…not to say that there won’t be one. I think that when D_T first suggested me coming out there, he didn’t really think I would take him up on it. But then again, he never really thought that I would post on his blog either. I think he’s slowly discovering that he shouldn’t try to compare me to my predecessors because I’m definitely not them and I don’t intend to be. Now we just take each day at a time and see what we can maybe manage some day in the future. Fun times.
The keys to the Castle
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Amore & Vita, General, Lust, Technology
There comes a point in every relationship where you begin to think this one may go the distance. He/she could be a keeper. When that time comes a man typically presents her with the “key to his castle”. Yes, you got it…her very own key to his apt/home. This is a huge step for us menfolk. It means we have to be absolutely sure she won’t let herself in at 1AM on a Tuesday only to find us boffing the waitress that served our dinner last weekend.
Well, this is 2006 and even internet relationships have their own equal. I believe I may have inadvertently crossed the demarcation when I gave Belle the ability to post her own blog entries here. When I did it I didn’t really think that she’d post since the last person that had such powers never did. Well, being the firebrand that she is Belle has already proven me wrong on that one. I guess it could get interesting if she ever posts when her monthly friend has come for a visit…hmmm….I better go check the calendar. 
To every girl…
Posted by Dubbayoo | Filed under Amore & Vita, General
- To every girl that dresses cute not skanky.
- To every girl who wants to be called beautiful, not hot.
- To every girl who wants him to call just saying “I was thinking about you” no matter what time it is.
- To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect birthday present for you.
- To every girl who gets her heart broken because he chose the whore instead.
- To every girl who is nice to everyone no matter who they are.
- To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.
- To every girl that wont settle for the jerk.
- To every girl who would just like once to be treated like a princess.
- To every girl that cries at night because of another HEARTBREAK.
- To every girl that wont get down on her knees and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.
- To every girl that just wants to holds hands.
- To every girl that kisses him with meaning.
- To every girl who just wishes he CARED.
- To every girl that just wants to cuddle.
- To every girl that just wants to sleep (no sex) with him.
- To every girl that is scared to put her heart out there again because she has been hurt so many times.
- To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.
- To every girl that thought maybe this could be the one.
- To every girl that believes in her dreams.
- To every girl that would do anything so she could achieve them.
- To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually does think it is funny.
- To every girl who is just looking for that one and only and is having a rough time along the way.
- To every girl that has been cheated on because she’s not a skanky whore who gives it up to any guy.
- To every girl that doesnt want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually CARES about how she feels.
- To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.
- To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.
- To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.
THIS ONE IS FOR YOU.
