Best Advice You Will Probably Ever Hear:
Posted by Steve | Filed under Amore & Vita
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If he’s not calling you, it’s because you’re not on his mind.
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If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.
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“Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating.
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If at all possible, try to get to know someone as best you can before you get naked with them.
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you.
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Whatever problems you may have been having in your relationship, they didn’t merit him having sex with someone else.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of “ruining the friendship.”
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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Cheating is bad. Not knowing why you cheated is even worse. Don’t date any man who doesn’t know why he does things.
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100% of men polled they have never accidentally slept with anyone.
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100% of men polled said they’ve never been too busy to call a woman they were really into.
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Cheating is cheating. It doesn’t matter whom it was with or how many times it happened.
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Cheating gets easier every time it’s done. It’s only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone’s trust.
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It doesn’t count unless he says it when he’s sober. An “I Love You” (or any semblance thereof) while under the influence of anything stronger than grape juice won’t hold up in court or in life.
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If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you, etc., when he’s inebriated, it ain’t love - it’s sport.
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Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.
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If you feel that’s he’s always holding something back, or that you’re spending a lot of energy trying to change yourself into something you think will make him happier, then divorce yourself from him and move on.
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100% of guys polled said they would have no problem marrying a woman who they were positive was the love of their life.
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It’s very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less – even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less – than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person that you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
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You can’t talk your way out of a breakup. It is not up for discussion. A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one.
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Break up sex still means you’re broken up. cut him off, let him miss you.
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Don’t give him the chance to reject you again.
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If the person you “love” cannot freely spend his days thinking about you and being with you, it’s not REAL love.
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Unless he’s all yours, he’s still hers.
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Try not to be 4 years into the relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you’re with is a big, selfish jerk.
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You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. (You have to be nice to them, too.)
You already have one asshole. You don’t need another.
Lies and the fucking lying liars who tell them
Posted by Steve | Filed under Amore & Vita
What is the deal? Why do it? Do you really think people believe everything that comes out of your mouth just because they don’t confront you with it right? It just doesn’t seem like keeping all your lies straight would be worth the hassle, especially when the lie doesn’t really buy you anything to begin with.
The unmitigated gall of some people to think others are too stupid to see through your bullshit. Like bad cologne, your arrogance arrives in the room five minutes before you do.
Posted by Steve | Filed under Amore & Vita
I really need to sit down with a bottle of wine and put pen to paper…or fingers to keyboard as the case may be. I have a lot of unfocused thoughts and ideas that have been running around in my head for quite some time now. Maybe this weekend I will get started on something.
I told you Aunt Flo is in town
Posted by Steve | Filed under Amore & Vita
We are now arguing over whether I like her breasts or not, thanks to the Dolly Parton comment.
(In all seriousness they are fantabulous.)
Screw you, St. Valentine!
Posted by Steve | Filed under Amore & Vita
Sigh. Tomorrow will be yet another opportunity wasted. Yet another Valentine’s Day where I will not be showering my girl with flowers, gazing lovingly into her eyes over a wonderful romantic dinner…all in the hopes that tonight will be the night she finally lets me break out that one freaky sex move she’s been promising to let me try. Just Kidding. 
Despite my rapidly advancing age I have had few serious relationships in my life. Few chances to really do V-Day up right and demonstrate there are in fact several romantic bones (no pun intended) in this body of mine.
Unfortunately certain unwelcome family members saw to it to ruin a perfect weekend. That bitch Aunt Flo, who had a skillion other places she could have been, saw to it to show up on our doorstep. First off you need to know that Belle has fairly predictable and often significant mood swings when Flo is in town. I had to tell Belle about the cabin plans long before so she could arrange vacation and what not.
Anyway we are on the phone the night before I intend to finalize plans chatting it up. She tells me which days she has off but it’s very late and I know I’m going to forget. Right Before the phone call ends she mentions you know who will be visiting soon. Right away I sense trouble. Sure enough…The next day I text message to get the dates again only to be met with”We need to cancel the cabin. I’m not right for you”. Wha? We’ve been over this. I just need the dates. “NO…I won’t go.” I already know this is Flo’s black magic at work here. To make a long story short we go back and forth for the next 7-10 days without her giving me the dates. Sure enough when Aunt Flo exits the building Belle is now interested in the romantic weekend, only it’s too late to make flight arrangements without breaking the bank.
I had it all planned. A buddy was going to hook me up with a mountain cabin – hot tub, jacuzzi bath, big screen plasma tv, pool table…the whole nine. I was going to fly in, spend a night at her apt, meet my buddy for drinks (translation – get the cabin keys), then secret ourselves off far away from civilization for a long romantic weekend. Okay…it really wouldn’t be that far civilization and I’m sure she had plans to drag me to Pigeon Forge. Heck I might have even gotten to meet Dolly Parton and her fabulous breasts but I digress. One fabulous pair would have been enough for one weekend.
So…instead of a romantic weekend and memories to last a lifetime she got cookies. Relax, she already knows. Oh well….she would have made me watch Magnum, P.I. DVDs all weekend anyway. there’s always Steak & Blowjob Day.
P.S. Guess who’s back today? I’m probably gonna hear it about this blog.
The Courtesy Call
Posted by Steve | Filed under Amore & Vita, General
Ever given one? Ever gotten one? Who gets one? Who doesn’t? How soon does it come? What form does it come in? WTF is the courtesy call you say? Simple. The courtesy call could also be called the respect call since it is, in most situations, a measure of the respect you have for someone. The courtesy call is about if, when and how you notify former significant others or booty calls of news that either directly or indirectly relates to them.
A friend of mine just found out that an ex-SO of hers is now engaged. Rather than get a personal call or even an email she found out via the Internet. How much time has to go by in that case before a courtesy call is no longer warranted?
Suppose someone you were with found out they got an STD. Maybe it was after you…maybe it was before. Is a courtesy call always warranted? How far apart do the instances of them sleeping with you and them hearing about a possible STD need to be before a courtesy call is not warranted?
What if you’re now dating your friend’s ex or his/her sister? Do they get a courtesy call before the clothes ever come off? Should you wait until you’re exclusive?
What if you’re divorced and so serious about someone else that you’re ready to move out of state with them? Do they have a right to know regardless of whether you still get along or not? Obviously if there are children involved the situation is different.
I had a personal situation where I felt a courtesy call would’ve been prudent. It happened over 10 years ago after I had gone fishing off the company pier. We only went out twice and remained friendly afterward. Well about five months later I’m shooting the bull with some guys in the office. Come to find out Coworker is pregnant! Word was out she had slept with another guy in the office after me but he was vehemently denying he was the father. At this point people in the office know about us since my roommate worked at the same company. One of the guys says to me “DT, you’re amazingly calm about this. What’s the deal?” I said she and I were together five months ago. If it were mine she’d be showing by now. In actuality I was calm because I didn’t know until just now. I was 99.999% sure it wasn’t mine but I called her that night to get the final .0001%. Nevertheless this brotha would have appreciated a courtesy call to say “hey DT. FYI, I’m pregnant and I’m having it but you’re not the baby daddy so don’t trip.”
What are your thoughts on the courtesy call? For me it is about respect. If I’ve shared a significant part of my being with someone and they’ve chosen to share the same with me I feel they are owed a certain something. How do you define when a relationship reaches that point where the other person is just entitled to be told certain things privately and before it becomes public knowledge? Equally important – when are they no longer entitled to know?
It’s A Numbers Game
Posted by Steve | Filed under Amore & Vita, General, Lust
So..last night Belle and I had the “numbers” talk. You know the one. The one that sinks otherwise unsinkable ships. The “so what have you done and how many times have you done it” talk. Have you had this talk? If you haven’t do not have this talk. This is not a good talk. Nothing good can come from this talk. Inevitably comparisons are made and apparently for men AND women the competitive juices began to flow.
It was definitely eye-opening on both sides. We plowed through the Too Much Information barrier like a runaway freight train cutting thru melted butter…downhill….on a greased track…loaded with coal. It started off innocently enough. A few easy questions purely for entertainment value. Unfortunately simple questions occasionally require clarification which means divulging details that you may or may not want to know.
Disclaimer – Let me make it perfectly clear Belle’s number was actually quite low. It was only surprisingly in the sense that I naively assumed that I knew everything already…well I missed a couple.
Obviously being older (and a guy) my number was much higher than Belle’s. However taking my age into account I think my number is quite reasonable. She was not overly pleased about this revelation. I think what bothered her most was the fact that all of them, save one or two, were essentially hit & runs or friends w/benefits situations. She was and still is concerned about being “flavor of the month” or worse…yet another temporary diversion from the loneliness of daily life. One would think the fact that we have been involved on some level for nearly two years now would enough to assuage those fears but apparently not. Besides…it wasn’t for lack of trying. Actually it was but I digress.
When it’s all said and done the truth is we have absolutely no reason to be envious of anyone in our SO’s past. They are in the past for good reason. If they were really that fantastic they’d still be where you are right now. Leave it at that. Trust me on this one, folks. Thank you and good night.
