Sigh. Tomorrow will be yet another opportunity wasted. Yet another Valentine’s Day where I will not be showering my girl with flowers, gazing lovingly into her eyes over a wonderful romantic dinner…all in the hopes that tonight will be the night she finally lets me break out that one freaky sex move she’s been promising to let me try. Just Kidding. 
Despite my rapidly advancing age I have had few serious relationships in my life. Few chances to really do V-Day up right and demonstrate there are in fact several romantic bones (no pun intended) in this body of mine.
Unfortunately certain unwelcome family members saw to it to ruin a perfect weekend. That bitch Aunt Flo, who had a skillion other places she could have been, saw to it to show up on our doorstep. First off you need to know that Belle has fairly predictable and often significant mood swings when Flo is in town. I had to tell Belle about the cabin plans long before so she could arrange vacation and what not.
Anyway we are on the phone the night before I intend to finalize plans chatting it up. She tells me which days she has off but it’s very late and I know I’m going to forget. Right Before the phone call ends she mentions you know who will be visiting soon. Right away I sense trouble. Sure enough…The next day I text message to get the dates again only to be met with”We need to cancel the cabin. I’m not right for you”. Wha? We’ve been over this. I just need the dates. “NO…I won’t go.” I already know this is Flo’s black magic at work here. To make a long story short we go back and forth for the next 7-10 days without her giving me the dates. Sure enough when Aunt Flo exits the building Belle is now interested in the romantic weekend, only it’s too late to make flight arrangements without breaking the bank.
I had it all planned. A buddy was going to hook me up with a mountain cabin - hot tub, jacuzzi bath, big screen plasma tv, pool table…the whole nine. I was going to fly in, spend a night at her apt, meet my buddy for drinks (translation - get the cabin keys), then secret ourselves off far away from civilization for a long romantic weekend. Okay…it really wouldn’t be that far civilization and I’m sure she had plans to drag me to Pigeon Forge. Heck I might have even gotten to meet Dolly Parton and her fabulous breasts but I digress. One fabulous pair would have been enough for one weekend.
So…instead of a romantic weekend and memories to last a lifetime she got cookies. Relax, she already knows. Oh well….she would have made me watch Magnum, P.I. DVDs all weekend anyway. there’s always Steak & Blowjob Day.
P.S. Guess who’s back today? I’m probably gonna hear it about this blog.